“It's okay if the sun is shining, or if it's not. It's okay even if it rains. Experience this moment as it is. Walk slowly and focus on your five senses, but don't follow your thoughts. Thoughts are usually directed to the past or the future, but our senses exist in the present, at this moment.”

The pure sound of the singing bowl softly resonated through the air dampened by spring rain. The faces of those following Ven. Choeun—the Templestay guiding nun at Sudeoksa Temple—are pure. Mr. Shin Dong-cheon (66) and Ms. Min Hye-ryeon (64)—a couple who were concentrating on the sound of the singing bowl—suddenly looked at each other and shared a smile. To exist completely in this moment, not in the past or future; this is the teaching they received as a gift from their Templestay experiences.

When they first encountered Templestay in June 2017, they felt like they were literally hanging on the edge of a cliff. In particular, every day was painful for Mr.
Shin, who had retired after 38 years of public service.

Upon retiring from the job he had held his entire life, his sense of belonging disappeared, leaving him with a sense of helplessness and loss. After his busy life of daily routines ended, the feeling of emptiness seemed to weigh him down. He felt frustrated and angry for no reason. His conflicting emotions were painful and sometimes futile.

Ms. Min—who was watching her struggling husband—also suffered. She was heartbroken every time her husband—previously strong and driven—wavered. Deciding to stand by her husband through this difficult time, she too quit her job and decided to spend more time with her husband, who was at a turning point in his life. They visited Baekryunsa Temple in Gapyeong for their first Templestay.

There, the two had an unforgettable and powerful experience. Many years have passed since then, and they have participated in numerous Templestay programs since then, but even now, the memory of their first Templestay brings tears to their eyes. It was exactly six months after Mr. Shin retired.

Although everything about the temple was unfamiliar, they learned temple etiquette under the guidance of the monks, and also participated in the Buddhist ceremonies. During their conversation over tea with a monk, their feelings of frustration naturally led to counseling. Ven. Seonhyo silently listened to Mr. Shin's causes of distress as he continued to vent over a cup of tea, and he handed Mr. Shin several sheets of paper to write on.

Mr. Shin said, “He asked me to think about what was bothering me and write it down on a piece of paper. Whether painful, angry, sad, or anything else, I was supposed to write down all my worries and thoughts and bring them back to him on the last day of my Templestay. Looking at the blank paper was daunting at first. But as I thought about my suffering more and more, I found myself writing more and more. As I was writing, I thought to myself, ‘I must have been in a really bad place.’”

By the last day of the Templestay, Mr. Shin had written four pages. Each and every page was filled with things that troubled him. The process of writing down his problems itself became an opportunity to look into his heart, something he had previously never done.

Ven. Seonhyo received the papers and then handed them back to the couple. He told both of them to burn the papers they had written on and told them about the temple's fire pit where various things were burned.

Ms. Min said, “I went there first, and as each paper was burned, I felt so relieved. As I burned each page, I felt like my worries disappeared along with it. I came back and talked about it with Ven. Seonhyo and waited for my husband, but even after one hour, he hadn't returned. I went to look for him because I was wondering what was going on.”

She found her husband squatting in front of the fire pit, crying. She also burst into tears seeing her husband unable to control his emotions. The couple hugged and cried together for a long time. Ven. Sunhyo quietly approached them and gently touched their backs.

Mr. Shin said, “I don’t remember ever crying like that before or since then. After crying so hard, I felt like I had been reborn. I felt like all my past troubles had burned up with those papers.”

From then on, the couple's new life began. Falling in love with the charm of Templestay, the couple went together on a pilgrimage to temples across the country. They even joked about completing 100 Templestay programs together. During their Templestays, which usually lasted 3 days, they felt at ease from the moment they passed through Iljumun Gate, and their delusions melted away like the snow. As the couple spent more time together, their conversations naturally became deeper. The various experiences they shared at Templestay led to daily laughter. As of today, they have participated in over 50 Templestay programs.

Perhaps thanks to their improved peace of mind, their health improved as well. Ms. Min had been sickly all her life. She had suffered from kidney stones about every five years, but since she began participating in Templestay, she has never been hospitalized for that. The chronic illnesses that previously had made her daily life uncomfortable suddenly disappeared. Mr. Shin commented that his personality has also changed significantly, saying, “My usual impatience and bad temper have improved a lot.” In fact, his children and acquaintances often tell him, “Your face looks good and much more relaxed.”

After the COVID-19 pandemic subsided, they participated in a Templestay with their children and grandchildren. In particular, their son and his wife liked the calligraphy the abbot wrote for them during a Templestay they attended before marriage. It reads, “It is good for couples to yield to each other.” They even hung it in their home. Their grandson—who learned Seonmudo (Korea's traditional martial arts) from an experiential Templestay program at Golgulsa Temple—later began studying Judo and is developing a healthy mind and body.

A Templestay they participated in with their in-laws is also a special memory. Many of their acquaintances have also participated in Templestay programs thanks to the couple's strong recommendation, and the response has always been positive. The most likely reason is that they are drawn to the charm of Templestay which is created by the unique atmosphere of a temple coexisting in harmony with the natural environment, as well as the special experience of spending time together in a traditional cultural space.

Ms. Min said, “Most temples are surrounded by outstanding mountainous terrain, so through a Templestay program, you can see famous mountains and encounter various aspects of our cultural heritage, including national treasures and cultural assets. Although the accommodations are not large, most are neat and tidy, so the people you recommend the program to will probably thank you. In my humble opinion, I think it is the best possible program for relaxation, healing, and having a special experience, regardless of one's religion. Each temple has its own unique charm, so it's best to experience it for yourself. Going alone is good, but it’s even better to share the experience with someone.”

As the couple participated in more and more Templestays, significant changes occurred in their daily life. First of all, they start the day differently than before. They now meditate briefly when they wake up in the morning. As they continued to practice focusing on the present moment, they began to fill their days with positivity and gratitude rather than negative thoughts.

They thought about recreating the comfortable atmosphere of Templestay in their home, so they gradually began to eliminate the clutter and discard unused items. The joy that a simple space can bring was greater than they thought. It would allow no time for their thoughts to complicate matters, and the atmosphere at home would be much more comfortable. “Death,” previously a vague but distant fear, is now a natural topic of conversation. Recently, they and their daughter pledged to not receive any extreme life-extending treatments. They also intend to donate their organs. All of these things are miraculous changes for the couple.

After hearing about how Templestay had changed the couple's lives, Ven. Dosin, the abbot of Sudeoksa Temple, offered them tea and said, “Now that a sprout has burgeoned in your heart, you will be able to feel more changes in the future." The couple told him that death is still an issue they need to come to grips with, to which he responded, "Life and death exist only in an instant.”

Ven. Dosin then relayed to the couple his reaction upon the death of a friend: “Today I bid farewell to my dharma brother of 50 years. Whether you studied a lot or a little, I thought it would not be easy to resolve all your mental issues before leaving. I placed my hand on his coffin and told him to go with his consciousness wide awake. That means not being attached to anything, to empty yourself of everything and leave freely. In Buddhism, death is just a temporary pause. Don't try to get too comfortable with death though. That too can be an obsession. Just live each moment as you are now.”

“The vast sea is infinitely calm, but then strong waves hit and soon become ripples, and at some point, the sea becomes calm, like nothing ever happened. It is just a phenomenon that changes depending on conditions, and the sea just exists.” Hearing these remarks, the couple smiled quietly. Even after this short tea break, they felt lighter. Now that I think about it, every time I have tea with a monk, it leaves a particularly long-lasting impression.

Mr. Shin said, “I feel very happy at this moment. When I walk through a spotless temple compound, breathe in the clean air and enjoy the beautiful natural scenery, I can't help but smile. Ven. Dosin's words have touched my heart. I couldn’t be happier or more grateful.”

The couple's Templestay pilgrimage is ongoing. After visiting most of the temples across the country, they plan to continue their Templestay experience, focusing on temples they especially liked and had fond memories of. As Ven. Dosin said, if you live your life completely feeling the moment as it is, every moment will become your life.

 Sudeoksa Temple
+82-41-330-7700
https://sudeoksa.com